13 years

        {above...Deb and her friends...she was always so nice to let me tag a long.  I'm the chubby little girl}
March 20th marked 13 years since my sister Debbie passed away from complications due to Scleroderma.  I miss her, I miss talking to her, I miss how she would laugh so hard she would make the kitchen table shake when we were eating dinner. I will always want to be like her and treat people the way she did.  She had a gift for making and keeping friends.  I am grateful for her example and for her courage to battle a disease as terrible and debilitating as Scleroderma and do it with such a positive attitude.  My kids like me to tell them aunt Deb stories.  I look forward to many more laughs and talks one day!  :)
www.scleroderma.org

celebrating a sister's birthday

I have had a copy of this picture for a long time.  I like it.  I remember having it taken outside on the front lawn of our house. I was struggling with the scanner so I ended up taking a pic of the pic with my phone.  I was 6, my sis Rebekah was 10, my sis Debbie was 16 and my sis JoLynne was 17.  There is some SERIOUS  hair feathering action going on in this photo.  Hello to the 80's...i loved the 80's by the way.  Truly a talent to be able to get your hair so feathery.... I remember sitting on the bathtub edge in the bathroom watching my sisters curl their hair, put on their fancy blue eyeshadow and eyeliner.  Deb had contacts and I found that super fascinating to watch for some reason.  My sister's all had retainers too. (I used to try them on...gross, I know...but completely the truth ) I wanted a retainer so bad...I wanted to talk like I had a retainer...do you know what I am talking about?  A retainer made you sound cool, so I remember unbending paper clips and melting wax on the stove.  Right now I am thinking...what the heck??  I was using my mom's good sauce pans and the STOVE to melt wax..I am sure she really appreciated that.  Anyway, I would make my own retainer...it was pretty ghetto, but I felt pretty awesome wearing it.  I could go on and on about goofy things I did as a child.....


moving on...

Today would have been my sister Debbie's 42nd Birthday.  Each July 21st I spend an extra amount of time thinking about her.  I always think of her, I don't think that will ever change, but I like to remember her even more today. 

Deb was great.  She was kind, talented, funny (she told me that she was born with clothes on...yeah, I believed her until I was like 12..just kidding more like 11 and a half..jk for real more like 6), creative, patient and good.  She was a wife, mommy and teacher.  She spoke French.  She loved adventure. She had long pretty nails.  She liked Skittles. She had lots and lots of friends.  She had great handwriting.  She taught me lessons...sometimes the hard way, like the time I totally destroyed her fav stationary.  I was fiddling in her room like I did quite often. (My sisters rooms were fun because they had their teenagery stuff in them.  Cool pens, paper, fancy dance dresses in the closet, dying to be tried on by a 7 year old...along with their high heels.)  Anyway, I got busted in her room one day and she sat down, put me over her lap and gave me a good old fashioned spankin' on the rear.  It hurt, but I never ruined her stuff again.  She would probably deny spanking me, but it really did happen. It hurt, but not really...but you cry just to be dramatic. 

I miss her... a lot actually.  Sometimes it is still hard to believe all of that happened...her disease, the things she had to endured and coped with.  I draw strength from her strength.  She would leave me notes telling me that she loved and appreciated me...I still have them.  She kept a positive attitude.  She understood that this life is only a short time..she applied the atonement in her life and turned to the Savior when she knew she couldn't do it on her own.  These past few weeks at church we have been talking about the Atonement and the Savior's life.  It has been good for me.  Of course I always get teary, but I also have a problem with getting teary when someone else is teary.  You know when you tell your self to pull it together and suck the tears in...I tell myself but the tears usually spill over the edge.  I can't even count how many times I have teared up watching the show case showdown on The Price is Right...I am an emotional person.  :)  The lessons reminded me of how grateful I am for life, for experiences and for times that give us opportunities to grow and learn.

I wish Deb was still here, but I understand that we have to accept the Lord's timing.  I am sure she is doing great things.  So Happy Birthday to a wonderful sister who will always be a part of my life.  ( Next time I see her I will be asking her if she remembers the bum spanking incident...She is totally going to be denying it) ;)

http://www.scleroderma.org/