Yesterday was one of those days...if you are a mommy, you know what I mean. I was upstairs feeding Jack and came down after to find Lucy going to town on the watermelon. She got it out of the fridge and decided to have herself a little snack. Who needs a spoon when you have nice good teeth?!
She carved some nice grooves in the melon.
I love being a mommy, I truly do....BUT...being a mommy is also HARD!! I have been thinking about parenting a lot lately and just how hard it really is. I think being a mother is one of the most incredible things we can experience in life. My kids can bring me to tears out of pure joy and love and on the flip side, they can bring me to tears out of pure and utter frustration. Yesterday was a pure and utter frustration day. I was getting tired of walking into a puddle on the floor of pee in the bathroom that had been sitting there for who knows how long. The whining was getting to me and the mess after mess was making me bonkers.
I took Rex to his guitar lesson after school and the girls played out on the grass while he was inside strumming away. Jack started waking up in his car seat so I went to get him and just as I turned back at the girls, Lucy was standing there, skirt up to her chin,legs spread, undies around the ankles, her cute buns on display for all to see {and there were many to see...there were moms in cars, people walking by, there were people a plenty}...she decided to pee on the nice purple flowers. Meanwhile, Jack started screaming his face off and would not stop. He hasn't been feeling great, so on our way home I stopped at the Dr. office. We waited and waited and waited...Rex was rolling on the nasty floor...the kids were naughty and I was on the verge of tears.
Blah, blah, blah, to make my long day, short, I shuffled them all into the car and drove home. Jared was home and could tell I was barely hanging on. I found myself shedding some tears in the laundry room, Jared found me, he usually does...he is good at talking me down from my "I feel like a loser mom" ledge. He tells me I am doing a great job...tells me what I need to hear and I head out and talk to the kids about not acting like maniacs.
{this was my view of Jack...
so tender}
I used to say that I thought I was a patient person before I had kids....I was patient, but my patience consisted of waiting for my toast to pop up...now my patience is tested by whining, messes, crying, fighting.....
but...in all honesty, I wouldn't trade it. I think as a mother we sometimes put all sorts of pressures on ourselves and compare ourselves or how well behaved other kids are and we beat ourselves up {at least I hope so, I hope I am not the only one who sheds tears in the laundry room. ;) }
For me, the worrying is probably the hardest. I am a worry wart, so I worry about the kids having good friends, whether or not they are happy, feeling good and trying to keep them safe. It is kinda exhausting.
I know I am learning valuable lessons. I am grateful for my four sweet babies. Although it is hard at times, I love them beyond words. I learn more and more with each baby. My goal is to sweep all the annoying stuff under the rug and just try to enjoy my kids more, because I know one day they will be all grown and I will miss all the things they do at this age, the wonderful and the not so wonderful. I remember cutting out a quote in Real Simple magazine {i love that magazine}. It was back when I just had Liv, but it said,
"there is no one way to be a perfect mother, but there is a million ways to be a good mother."
