time

I started this post last week and never got a chance to finish it. Last week we had a lot of rainy days. I love a good rainstorm. I opened the windows in the house to let the nice breeze in. The two older kids were at school and Lucy was coloring at the table so I plopped my laptop next to her and next to the open window & started thinking about TIME.

It seems like yesterday that these two little girls were actually little. They were so cute the other day doing "craft time" together. I can never really wrap my head around the fact that time is going by so fast. One year after another. Those of you who know me well, know that I am a worry wart. I worry about all sorts of things, but mainly things I have no control over. Sometimes I just wish time would slow down....I guess I should just accept the fact that it won't & just take each day as it comes and make the most of it.

Speaking of time..I can hardly believe I am in my last 4 weeks of pregnancy. This pregnancy has flown by, probably my fastest. I have really enjoyed this time. I know it sounds corny, but I feel like it is such a tender time, and such a miracle to be able to have the opportunity to carry a baby. Last week I had an ultrasound just to check the size of the baby. I have been measuring a little behind, but the baby seems to be ok, just a little small. The woman doing the ultrasound decided to take a 3D pic of the baby. Although 3D pics usually look pretty creepy, I think it helped that I was 34 weeks and the baby is pretty developed already. The baby's little face was so cute! He/she looked a lot like Rex. Lucy was with me and was asking a billion questions. She wanted to know where the baby's pants were or if the baby had a blanket on. It was really cute.

A few weeks ago, March 20th, marked 12 years since my sister Debbie passed away. That day doesn't mark the first day of Spring here obviously because the seasons are opposite, but I always think about that day and what it was like for me. 12 years is a long time but at the same time it doesn't seem that long ago. Deb had been having a hard time that morning. I remember lying in bed with her and my mom talking with her and she kept telling us that everything was going to be ok. I had to leave for school then to work. While I was at work I got a phone call from my dad telling me I needed to come home right away because Deb wasn't doing well. My parents and her husband Dave were there with her at the hospital. I guess I always thought the doctors would be able to do something to help her like they always did and that she would be ok. I stayed at home with my nieces and nephew waiting and waiting to hear something. I called the hospital an hour later and the nurse told me that she had passed away. I have never had a moment in my life quite like that. It is hard to put into words what it felt like. I couldn't even speak and I felt like I couldn't breath. I got off the phone and called my sister Jo who was living back East and told her and we both sobbed. My heart broken parents and brother in-law soon came home. Although that day was one of the hardest days I have experienced, it was also one of the most powerful experiences of my life. It is always going to be hard and I won't ever forget those feelings. Lessons were learned and experiences took place that have made me understand and realize different things in my life. I know she has been involved in my life and probably got to know each of my kids before they were born. You know what though, she was right...everything is going to be ok.